Are you SCARED of your Dad's Anger?
If so, it makes sense!
I talked with a brother in the faith this past week and was humbled to find out that he had taken the advice of my book. There was a moment when he self-propelled himself by saying, “I’ve got to go!” He got up and left the function he was at, then, went to see his Dad and told him: “Dad, your anger scares me.” Seeing the impact on his life in his and his wife’s eyes was such a blessing.
Anger is a scary thing. Anger makes it feel like it is impossible to talk with someone. Knowing that the result of you bringing your needs or your feelings to the person and the result is anger, makes us afraid to do it again. Thus, controlling our efforts to make things right.
I commended my brother in faith for his courage because it took a lot of it to approach his Dad. My hope and prayer is that his Dad’s heart melted when he was told. I don’t know whether or not his Dad was using his anger and impatience to wield control, but I can tell you that when someone tells you that your anger scares them, it’s sobering.
I led a sales team at one time and it was incredibly stressful. There was an instance when an employee of mine told me my anger scared him. It melted my heart like when Israel would win major battles in the old testament and their adversary’s courage and bravery would melt away. I was forced to become introspective and look at why my anger had gone to such a level that it scared someone.
Sometimes, confronting sin like unrighteous anger can transform the angry person because someone may not have been brave enough to stand up to it with humility, and the person might not be completely aware of what they’re doing, like scaring their loved ones. Habits form for both the recipient’s of the anger and the one who is angry. Quite simply, it’s “allowed.”
Over the years, I’ve learned that standing up to a person who is angry sometimes results in more anger because both people are escalating to let the other know they won’t be pushed around, but sharing something like this man did could change the course of their relationship. And the approach just might be the way that gets through to your Dad. Way to go Brad!
